Thursday, October 31, 2013

5 Reasons Why I'm Just Not That Into Halloween

It's nothing new that Halloween has never been a favorite holiday of mine...or a top 5...or even a top 10. I never had a scarring Halloween memory and I actually enjoy scary movies.

I think it all stems from my inability to be someone/something I'm not. I just don't have the creativity, the imagination to create a costume from existing items or the budget to buy an off the shelves, elaborate costume. And if I did, I just can't get past how silly I feel to actually get into character. Sooo in no particular order...

[[1]] The whole creativity, self awareness factor I just mentioned. My idea of dressing up is wearing the below and a black shirt. I can't even be bothered with black pants to go with it. As weak as it may be, this bat hat has served it's purpose these past few years.

[[2]] Can you name me three Halloween songs not including Monster Mash? And if you actually can, do you really even want to listen to any of them? Probably not. Christmas has carols. Fourth of July has anthems. Easter has hymns. Moving on.

[[3]] There's that whole slutty costume thing. I'm officially closer to 30 than I am 20 (now that is something that's scary) and I think I'm more in the funny/clever costume age than the show as much skin as possible age. In terms of the funny/clever thing see reason #1. In terms of the show as much skin as possible thing, maybe if I looked like Giselle does as Dorothy and had a handsome lion to protect me from the creepier costumed people I'd feel differently.

[[4]] It's hard to consider it a legit holiday when we don't even get a day off from work for it. I get the day after Thanksgiving off and yet no Halloween. Bullsh*t. I don't want to be sandwiched between a bloated Mr. Incredible and a feathery chicken on my daily commute to work.

[[5]] I really really do not need the excuse or encouragement to buy Halloween candy. I have too much of a sweet tooth and too little of self control to walk through CVS and not at least glance at the candy that is already on sale.

So call me the grinch of Halloween but sorry I'm not sorry that there are actually plenty of 'Why not?' reasons for this holiday. Can you convince me why I should like it? Share if you agree!

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