The Oscars Through the Eyes of a Non Movie Watcher

Here goes nothing. An Oscars commentary by someone who realized last night that they apparently never go to or rent movies. I thought I wouldn't get many of the jokes or references since I'd seen virtually none of the nominated films and the only "celebrities" I follow are the Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants but I was sucked into the show from the start. Since I watched the whole 3+ hours and can't actually comment on the movies that I never saw I decided to  make my own categories and list my own winners.

Best Host - Ellen. I know that there's only one host but can someone explain to me why she doesn't host every single awards show? I hope I don't ever have to watch LL Cool J host another award show and try to make people laugh. It should be Ellen DeGeneres every.single.time.

Best Entrance - Jennifer Lawrence. Another year, another fall, a few (millions) more fans.

Best Acceptance Speech - Tie between Jared Leto and Lupita Nyong'o. Leto giving a shout out to his mom & brother in a more meaningful way than the traditional 'I'd like to thank my family' way; showing he's aware of life outside the spotlight recognizing Ukraine & Venezuela. I was on the edge of my seat waiting to hear more even as I was simultaneously waiting for the music hook to start playing & prompt his exit. Then Lupita recognizing her success at the hands of others' sadness and sharing a dream come true with viewers around the world. I had tears in my eyes and that's not something I openly admit often...because it doesn't happen often.

*I have to say I'd already decided it wouldn't get better than the above & then the two Frozen song writer people go and rhyme their whole speech and Matthew McConaughey told us about his future self being his own hero.

Best Dresses - There were so many enviable dresses and while I think it'd be easier to pick the dresses I did NOT like, I decided to show my top 4 below. Charlize Theron, Jennifer Lawrence, Lupita Nyong'o and Sandra Bullock all rocked timeless dresses. 


Best Call Out - Amy Adams did NOT go to college. Just in case anyone was wondering. 

Luckiest Guy at the Oscars - The pizza delivery guy. I don't care that there's no way any of those celebrities actually eat shitty delivery pizza or that the joke may have gone on a tad too long. I give him props for not peeing himself at the prospect of handing out pizza to the biggest names in show biz. 

Best Eyes I'd Like To Stare Into All Night Long - Chris Hemsworth. I won't even make him wear that burgundy colored blazer.

Most Intense - John Ridley leaving the stage after giving his acceptance speech. I just couldn't figure out what was going through his head as he clutched his Oscar and gave the camera the evil eye.

As a side and final note, it made me really happy to see so many people there with their non-celebrity loved ones. Lupita Nyong'o with her brother as her date. Jared Leto with his mother and brother. Steve McQueen's mom cheering from the last row in the section and Matthew McConaughey's mother glowing - literally - for her son. Made me happy to see.

Now I'm determined to watch all of the movies that were up for awards and by the time I finish watching all of these acclaimed movies I will probably be just in time to have missed seeing all of next year's nominated films. What did you think of the show?