10 Reasons Why I Could Never Be On The Bachelor

Watching The Bachelor/Bachelorette is my guilty pleasure every Monday night. I like to believe that it is possible for the contestants to find love on the show and while I don't think it is guaranteed to happen each time, it's entertaining to watch their journey...emphasis on their journey. Because as much as I like watching the girls and guys dress to impress and "open up" to win someone's heart, I could never be on the show myself. Here's why:

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[1.] I've heard that the camera adds 10 pounds so I can only imagine how many pounds a video camera adds. No way to do the photo shopping necessary for all of the bikini scenes with a TV episode and I'm not interested in starving myself for the months leading up to filming. 

[2.] I have a real job (whether I like it or not) so no "free spirit," "dog lover," or "former NBA dancer" professions for me. What does free spirit even mean? Why are the dog lover and her dog allowed to stay? What does the former dancer do now besides probably have a rich baby daddy?

[3.] I don't own nearly enough cocktail dresses to attend all of the rose ceremonies...assuming I'd make it past the first night...and I don't care to own that many.

[4.] I can't walk in heels and I probably never will be able to. Although, it might be entertaining to watch me stumble around the mansion for an episode or two I think I'd ultimately be a hazard.

[5.] I just can't talk about sex or "grown sexy" like Catherine did last night on the Bachelor Wedding without immediately blushing. My cheeks turn the color of my [red] hair...and stay that way for another half hour before I start to recover. 

[6.] I hate drama. And girls = drama. I'm way too passive aggressive to give in to a physical altercation or the show's desire for hair pulling and crying. 

[7.] I don't drink that much but I think I'd drink too much on the show. I can't handle large group situations and as a result, I think I'd end up being the shy girl quietly sipping wine in the corner who eventually gets wasted without realizing what happened. 

[8.] The whole sharing a guy thing and watching him be shared with your "friends" just doesn't sound all too appealing. Enough said.

[9.] Group dates. Talk about my idea of hell. So many people, so much drama, conflict and likely bikinis. I don't want to have to accidentally step on someone's toes in my high heels (it really would be an accident since I can't walk in them) to get 5 minutes to talk to the guy. I'll pass.

[10.] Then there's the whole me not actually being single factor...

That being said, I will still be tuned in tonight to watch Juan Pablo break a few more hearts and will be tweeting my commentary here.